Sunday, January 31, 2010

Test scores

O.K. , folks. If any of you actually bothered to do the quiz, here are your scores for each answer. The higher scores are awarded to the answers that I feel reflect the reality of building frames and not the fantasy. Pretense and negativity do not merit high numbers, even though so many of you champion both of those questionable attributes.
A one-point score indicates almost complete culelessness
A two point score indicates an almost imperceptable glimmer of grasping the concept.
A three point score shows some understanding , but clearly not the best choice.
A four point score indicates that this answer will work in a pinch.
A five point score means that you get it, whatever that may be.
A zero point score really isn't worth as much print as I have given it.
#1. A= 3
B= 3
D= 5
#2. A=2
#3. A=2
#4. A=1
#5. A=3
#6. A=2
#7. A=3
#8. A=3
In depth explanations of the reasoning behind the scores is something I have considered but I really don't want to waste your time unless there is a groundswell of enthusiasm.
A score of 40 indicates that you have a grasp, or at least my grasp of the framebuilders reality.....well done, bucko.
a score of 30 or more means that while you may have the grasp, you also think that there is some wiggle room with the rules, which there is, just not for me.
A score of less than 20 would say that you and I should never meet, at least not without a moderator or legal councel present.
Don't take it personally if you don't get a high score........taking this stuff personally is what drives the negative shit-circle that much of the chat forums have become. My advice ? Don't stir the will get on you and eventually all over you.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

This is only a test......

So you want to build frames, eh ? Maybe you don't want to build frames.....maybe you already build frames....heck , I don't know why you found me but you are here and you can check out this questioneer I have come up with. This multiple-choice quiz was inspired but the NYC bike snob's Friday quizzes - the difference is that his are funnier. The quiz I am offering up is for aspiring framebuilders or anyone who wishes to waste a little of their time with the following questions. You won't win anything no matter how well you do at the quiz and I'm sure that whatever I believe is the correct answer to any question might be up for debate-then again , this is my blog so I get to be the supposed authority , for what its worth.
So you want to be a framebuider ? Answer me this:
#1. If you were to build frames for a profession , what kind or style would you build ?
A. Lugged, classic style.
B. Welded steel
C. A variety of materials depending on use.
D.The kind that sell.
#2. How would you set yourself apart from the myriad of builders out there in the trade ?
A. Make your shop a 'destination shop' with a nice area with couches and an espresso machine.
B. Get the latest fitting method with all the most modern bike fit equipment.
C. Have a super organized space that exudes an organized , professional approach.
D. Have custom logos and fittings made for your frames that nobody else can use on their frames.
E. Actually do what you say you will do and be truthful.
#3. If a client comes into your shop, how will you go about selling your product to the prospective buyer ?
A. First, point out what notable feature(s) set your frame apart from the other builders.
B. Let the customer know that they really have arrived at the place where dreams are realized.
C. Ask them what they want, then tell them what you think they need.
D. Listen to what they have to say, then offer up some suggestions.
E. Tell them that you have limited time and that they need to make up their mind quickly as you have several years worth of orders to fill.
#4. What do you do if someone asks for some sort of frame that you don't know how to build ?
A. You tell them that they are asking for something really stupid.
B. You refer them to someone you know will build them a total piece of shit and that'll teach 'em.
C. You ask them why hell they came to you with this request and then show them the door.
D. You make an effort to find a compromise between what they are asking for and what you can build for them without going out of your comfort zone.
E. You take the order and learn how to build the frame , even if it means you are getting involved in a potential career-ending time-toilet.
#5. What do you do if someone has issues or a complaint with something you built for them? A. Tell them that you will do anything to rectify the situation except for a full refund.
B. Educate them as to what is proper and what is not proper with bicycle frame construction and assure them that what they are complaining about is not your problem.
C. Hide somwhere in your shop where you are sure they won't find you.
D. Do your best to fix the problem but if the person becomes abusive and/or irate offer them a full refund.
E. Move your shop and don't give a forwarding address.
#6. As a bicycle enthusiast , you would most like to :
A. Build frames all day long, every day.
B. Yell at cars as often as possible and let the world know that they need to share your road .
C. Go for a ride.
D. Spend time on the internet discussing frame building.
E. Smoke cigarettes while riding backward circles on a fixed gear.
#7. If you go on the internet framebuilding forums you are primarily :
A. Checking out the gossip.
B. Wanting to find an answer to a framebuilding question.
C. Wanting to show off your latest project.
D. Looking to argue and be abusive, particularly to the newbies.
E. Needing to show that you are right and that they are wrong.
F. Wanting to exchange useful info with non-deranged like minded folks.
#8. If you don't know a procedure, what do you do to learn how to do said procedure ?
A. Go to the forums and ask the folks at large.
B. Just figure out by trying things in your shop, caveman style.
C. Find a more experienced builder and ask him/her how it is done.
D. Go check a number of sources and authorities , then disregard all the sound advice and figure it out for yourself because you are a genius and they are not.
E. Find a way to live your life never knowing.......
Well, Folks-that is your quiz. I'll be posting what I think are the best answers and there will be point values for each answer. A hig score means you think like I do which may or may not serve you well-it depends on what circles you travel in. Good luck and happy new year to all.